10 years

Every time I go home, I like going through my things and remembering times past. My shelves and drawers are cluttered with photos and journals and stories I've written. In Ithaca I am mostly a forward looking person, because nothing much is stored there relating to who I was, so I focus on who I strive to be. But when I come home, I realize I rather like and miss this person who stayed in this room in which I'm sleeping.

I was flipping through my journal at home. There is an entry every few months, because I had to be in a certain mood to write and record. But there was one tradition I kept up for quite a few years, that on my birthday I would record my most up-to-date status in life, in the form of lists. Here is a snapshot of me on my 18th birthday:

Favorites: Ed Harris, Edward Norton, Books by Cynthia Voigt, the song "Starry Night" by Don McLean, History, Physics, ice treats, solitude and friends.

My hopes, dreams and fantasies: be in a band, act in a movie, become a brilliant scientist, travel around the world, publish a book, keep in touch with all my best friends, and study in a world renowned institute of science.

I read this and laugh at how young and silly I was. But am also impressed that I am now studying physics at a decent graduate school (I recall that this seemed the hardest task to achieve when I was 18!). I don't want to be in a band anymore, but I would like to be in a movie (or on broadway). Publishing a book doesn't seem all that hard anymore, although writing a good one does. And keeping in touch with friends has had mixed results, friendship is a two-way street after all...

Now that it is 9 years later, and the start of a new year, let me record once more:

Favorites: yummy vegetable dishes, fresh kale from the garden, bubble tea, spending time with my sister, apricot flavored white tea, hanging out with friends, cooking for people, watching documentaries on how the world is messed-up and feeling self-righteous, yoga, dance, singing, mario-kart, finishing a book, and interesting conversations about random things.

My aspirations: travel the world, not feel like a total loser when I get my Ph.D., make a positive difference in other's lives, not lose my temper at stupid things, and make better choices in general (plus be in a movie or on broadway)