So my new bff, who shall remain nameless, was jealous that I didn't mention him in the last blog post: "Serendipitous Connections". In my defense, it was written before we bonded over gossip.
So this is what this blog post will be about- dedicated to you know who you are…
I have mixed feelings about gossip.
Sometimes I have the suspicion it is toxic. But then being in the know and knowing tiny details about others gives one a sense of belonging to a community. It is also a way to feel closer to a person- to share secrets.
And usually that's the way I gossip- about myself. I am like an open book to all my friends. They usually know all my secrets. Sometimes so many people know my "secret", that really it ceases to be a secret. Not that I have especially juicy ones- usually its only my anxieties and thoughts and frustrations and crushes. I will share them with most of my friends without thinking or evaluating the possible consequences of being so open.
I also like having the listener reciprocate with secrets of their own, and delight in knowing their innermost thoughts, emotions, fears and scandals… not that many people have delightful scandals. But I only feel close to somebody once they open up and tell me things they don't share with just anyone, either revealing vulnerabilities or some darkness or some depressive state. So if you are one of those people who don't have any of those things going on in your brain, and are generally sunshine and happiness, I don't think I'll ever feel you are a close friend. Sorry.
But then gossip can also be misused. To confuse situations or stir trouble or cause misunderstandings. One must be careful in not being malicious about gossip or accidentally spreading gossip that may be hurtful or embarrassing to others. I have made the mistake more than once of doing the misdeed of spreading such gossip. I have also made the mistake of revealing too much about myself that it has caused a bit of embarrassment to my own self.
So it is a hard act to balance. So maybe I should gossip less. But then my new bff and I would have nothing to talk about.
